Lying awake

I had a really bad night’s sleep last night. I couldn’t get to sleep so I just tossed and turned for most of the night.

Finally I decided that I had to pee, got up and the cat darted inside my room.

As is usually the case when I can’t sleep, I finally doze off around 5am only to be woken up by my roommate an hour later. She talks loudly, slams doors and sings as she’s getting ready for work. The kitchen cupboards are especially wonderful because they slam multiple times before they come to a standstill.

I’ve talked to her about this before but it never seems to help. She doesn’t mean any disrespect by it. She just forgets that she lives with other people.

Shortly after that the cat commenced being an irritating shit so I had to get up to throw her out.

And then I thought I could just set my alarm back half an hour and try to squeeze out some extra sleep. But that never works. Inevitably I end up thinking about how much time I have left to sleep. The time stretches out and I become hyperaware of how much time has passed. I then become convinced that maybe the alarm isn’t on at all or I set it wrong, that it won’t go off or something and then I wake up.

And in the midst of it all, a dream about getting woken up. It was roughly 5am. I heard someone operating a leaf blower or a weed whacker so I got out of bed and found my neighbour doing noisy yardwork. This isn’t unlike him. He saw me in the window and came over, told me that he was concerned that it was large and at ground level, that someone might break in. I thanked him for his concern and assured him that things were fine.

And then I woke up again.

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