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Nails

and then there were chickens.

I keep a set of fingernail clippers beside my computer on my desk. I used to tear off little strips of my fingernails until they were ugly and chipped and often bleeding. I did it when I was bored, or as a pause between thoughts. People used to see them and then admonish me for biting my nails all the time, but like crawling on your hands and knees, biting one’s fingernails was always one of those weird things that other kids did that I never managed to figure out.

One day I decided that I would stop doing it and then I did. All it took was placing a set of fingernail clippers beside my computer on my desk. At random times during the day when I completely zone out I’ll find myself cutting my nails.

Inevitably a chunk of fingernail will go flying into the keyboard of my computer and horrified, I will run off to find a vacuum cleaner to suck it out. This is a small price to pay for the fact that the ends of my fingers no longer look like they’ve been amputated via angle grinder.

I find the act of having long fingernails unpleasant. I like it when my fingers connect directly with the keys. Typing with long fingernails is like walking on stilts, stupid.

They’re growing out like claws and suddenly I’m scratching myself accidentally and getting them caught on things.

In rowing, long fingernails are terrible to have. When you scull, the fingernails on your right hand will scratch the knuckles raw on your left and then by the end of practice your shirt is all bloody and you wear it like a red badge of courage. People give you that knowing glance and your coach will probably make a joke about it.

But they look nice and normal and gender-appropriate right now. The moment I get home they’re coming off.

2 Responses to “Nails”

  1. libby Says:

    Hi Erin… i found you!! … i’ll be busy going the archives for the next couple of visit back! i wish for you nothing but a Happy New Year!

  2. erin Says:

    Hey, welcome back, and happy new year to you too!

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