Ghosts should live a little

I’m sitting here, working on a paper, listening to my roommates watch a movie. It’s a horror thriller of some sort. I didn’t catch the name. I’m not sure why they’re watching it because neither of them really like this genre. Someone made an offhand remark at the beginning that they would probably ridicule the film the whole way through.

Less than ten minutes in the screaming began. Mye is so funny. She’ll shriek at something and then she’ll yell an apology to me through my closed door because I’m not to be disturbed.

So why is it that in horror thrillers they do the seance or the ouija board or whatever and the ghost always has something ominous or frighteningly revealing to say? It’s always “my dead body is in the bottom of the lake,” or “the gun is in the filing cabinet,” or “please avenge my death” or something.

Those ghosts! Always fixated on the past. Always with that same whiny negative outlook on life. They really should learn to get over themselves, brighten up, live a little. Being dead is no excuse.

For once I’d like to hear them say something different, like how Keen’s dry mustard powder is the secret ingredient for everything good or rant about things they no longer have to deal with because they’re dead, like those drivers that stalk you in mall parking lots because they are hoping that you’re returning to a parking stall they can lay claim to, or like how it sucks to make that special trip to the drug store to buy something kind of necessary and important like toilet paper or tampons and being faced with that decision whether to pick up a bunch of things you don’t need or to soldier on through the checkout.

Just think – if ghosts quit whining for long enough to take stock of all the awkward, unpleasant and frightening things they no longer have to do, they might actually feel good about themselves.

Maybe horror thrillers would be interesting then.

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